Autism Awareness: Lance & Co. – Scott Air Force Base

May 1, 2012

Today we’re raising awareness for Autism on the blog! As you may know, April was Autism awareness month. So you might wonder then what this blog is doing showing up on May 1.

Here’s the thing…Autism now affects 1 in 88 of our children. That means that in another, say, 20 years or so, Autism will be affecting a very significant portion of our work force. These numbers are too far reaching for any of us to go through our lives untouched by Autism in some way. We’re way beyond an awareness day or an awareness month. We’re at a place where we all have to be 100 percent aware of Autism – what it is, what it isn’t, it’s reach, it’s possible effects – 100 percent of the time.

Also, if we’re being honest, scheduling conflicts and significant software issues pushed this blog into May. But that was a pretty good cover, right? And it’s all completely true anyway.

I remember the first time I heard anything about Autism. My mother-in-law, who worked as a school psychologist, explained it to me over spaghetti one night. It wasn’t something easy to understand – it never will be – but I could tell right away it was something she understood in a way not a lot of people did.

Fast forward many years, many classes, many experiences later…and I hear my husband talk about Autism and the children and families that it impacts the same way his mom did. I couldn’t be happier about the fact that he’s taking his career in a direction that is very focused on treating autism.

(Zac works at ABC Pediatric Therapy in O’Fallon which provides speech and occupational therapy services to kids with any number of physical or mental disabilities, communication disorders, and so on. If you ever find yourself in need of such services, I recommend it. You won’t find a better group of therapists this side of anywhere. Just my humble opinion of course…)

Autism has in many ways become part of our lives – it’s something we talk about (at length…Lord, at length) frequently. There are so many facets, questions, possibilities it’s really just a never ending topic of discussion for us. I mentioned here when I was first starting this business that I knew I would want to dedicate part of our time to making sure our services were available to families affected by Autism. All disabilities to be sure…but especially Autism.

Frequently, the impacts of Autism can make it impossible for a family to pop into a Sear’s portrait studio for a quick photo session. Professional studio shoots wouldn’t be any easier. Even on-location sessions would be a nightmare without a photographer who knew what to expect and how to handle it. So, Zac and I spent a lot of time learning how to make that possible.

What questions do you ask in advance? What tricks do you have up your sleeve? How in the hell do you pose someone who may not want to be touching anyone else, may not want to hold still for even a split second? How do you plan a session for someone who can’t handle a break in a routine, a new person, a new location? What about the kids who just can’t make eye contact? What about the kids who are nonverbal? How do you get past all of that and get to the heart of the matter – a kid and his family?

Well…we learned. And we’re still learning. And if we’ve learned anything very well, it’s to expect nothing and to be willing to do anything.

If you’ve read this blog for a while, you’ve probably seen photos of some kids with Autism and had no clue…which is exactly as it should be!

So with April being Autism awareness month and following the success of our Down Syndrome Awareness program, we opted to follow the same formula and offer a free photo session to a family with a child with Autism, in exchange for sharing their story here with all of you. Our hope, as always, is just to give you a glimpse into one family. To put a face and a name and a sense of reality to what has become a buzz word on the evening news.

That’s where Lance and his family came in.

We met up with Lance, a very handsome 5-year-old with Autism, his little brother Blake and his parents – Rachel and Brant – at Scott Air Force Base in Shiloh. Lance’s father is an Air Force Major. So in addition to the many thanks we owe them for sharing their story here – we also offer our thanks to the entire family for your dedication and service to our country.

Having talked with Rachel in advance, I knew we weren’t likely to get Lance to “pose” much as he isn’t into sitting still or staying in one spot. Fair enough. But with just enough luck we were able to get him into and out of a few different poses and capture some nice family shots before he put up any rejection.

From there we headed to where I was told Lance would be happiest…the playground. Lord have Mercy did I ever get a work out! These two boys have energy. There was much running and very little holding still. But hey…if the kid is running then so is this photographer! After less than an hour of awesome play time on the playground, the kids were worn out and Zac and I had plenty of awesome photos.

Traditional family photo session?

Not even close.

But I never signed up to shoot traditional family photo sessions anyway!

Enjoy these photos of Lance & Co. as well as some very insightful information from Lance’s mom, Rachel. And check back later tonight for a few more photos and to read what Zac and I have to share with you for this very special Autism Awareness Blog Event! Put on your learning caps, kids!

R: There’s a saying that “if you’ve seen one kid with autism, you’ve seen ONE kid with autism.”  That’s one reason autism can be so hard to diagnose (as it was in Lance’s case) and understand.  Every kid is different, and autism is not always apparent at first glance.  Some kids have sensory issues; some don’t.  Of those who do, some are sensory seeking and some are sensory avoiding.  Most people with autism are nothing like “Rain Man.”

For being as prevalent as it is, autism is incredibly misunderstood.  Kids with autism need love and acceptance as much as any other kid.  They can be happy and sad like typical kids too, and they’re not just emotionless robots.

More kids are diagnosed with ASD than diabetes, AIDS, cancer, cerebral palsy, cystic fibrosis, muscular dystrophy, and Down syndrome, combined.

If you see a child with autism having a meltdown, don’t assume it is a result of bad parenting, poor discipline, or a ill-natured kid.  There’s a lot you can learn from people with autism.  Lance doesn’t lie and he doesn’t judge.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everyone was that way?

R: One thing is to remember that kids with autism don’t look “different.”  If you see a child acting differently, it’s always good to give a parent the benefit of the doubt.  You just never know.

A friend with 2 children with Downs syndrome once told me, “at least my kids look different, so people are more understanding when they act out in public.”

Don’t offer unsolicited advice.  I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me about a diet or pill or video that they’ve read about in an article that we just “have to try!”  Believe me, we’re doing everything we can for our kids within reason.  We want them to succeed more than anyone!

Offer to help.  It means the world to me when someone kindly offers a helping hand, especially when I’m juggling both kids at once on my own and Lance is having an “autism moment.”

Understand if a family  can’t handle attending your birthday party, special dinner, or other outing, or if we have to gracefully bow out early before or during a major meltdown.  Accept that we parents know our kids’ limits and don’t want to push them too far, but also don’t want to keep them from experiencing the world. Encourage parents and siblings of kids with autism.  Offer to give them a break.  Life with an a child with autism is an adventure, but it can be rough at times, and a compassionate word goes a long way.

Remember that autism isn’t contagious.  We lost friends after Lance was diagnosed because the parents were afraid Lance would rub off on their children and they didn’t want him to play with their kids anymore.  Being around a child with autism, or ANY disability, is a GREAT experience for your children.  It will teach them compassion and understanding and that it’s okay to be different.

R:Following the diagnosis, there is a definite grieving process, and that’s okay.  Accept that you will have to go through the stages of grief at your own pace.  Don’t be embarrassed.  You didn’t do anything wrong that resulted in your child’s autism, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Don’t stop living your life.  Remember that YOU are the parent, and you know your child better than any doctor or therapist.  Be his biggest advocate and cheerleader.  A diagnosis is just a word- your child is the same child you loved before getting his diagnosis.

M: Tell us a little more about what you’ve learned since Lance’s diagnosis? What surprised you?

R: I thought I understood what autism was after having worked with a few kids with autism in the past, but I really had no clue how different each child is.  I didn’t understand that children with autism can love just like any other kid.  Lance is the most loving and affectionate 5 year old I know!

I have learned to adjust my plans and expectations so that we can still enjoy our time together as a family (even out in public!).

I have learned that even the experts don’t always understand Lance as well as I do, and to go with my mommy gut sometimes when there is a discrepancy.

I have learned that Lance can learn things any other child can learn, but that he learns in a different way and at his own pace, and that’s okay.

I’ve learned that autism is not a death sentence (though it can seem that way after the initial diagnosis), and that my son has a future.  It may not be the future I once imagined, but it’s going to be okay.  God will provide for him, and he has parents and a sibling that will love him and accept him every step of the way.

M: A huge thanks to the entire family for spending your evening with us and sharing your story on our blog! You are certainly blessed with wonderful children.

And now a bit more chatting from me and a few more photos  : )

First of all – Lance looks exactly like Prince Harry.

And I must tell you, those last 2 family shots around the slide are my favorites!! Lance was starting to slow down a bit and I wanted one more family shot (I always want one more…) but I also knew he wouldn’t be interested in stopping and posing. So we gathered the family around the slide and then shouted for Lance to come down the big slide! Voila!

Now I must share a few more of little Blake, who is ridiculously cute. Rachel told us early in the session that Blake loves the Wheels on the Bus. So, I struck up a chorus of wheels on the bus. I was rewarded with an expression that said something like…. “Woman, yo bus ain’t got no wheels. Who you kidding.”

So I demanded that Zac begin singing also. This upgraded the expression to something along the lines of “Psshh. Wheels on your bus. Your bus is probably jacked up on blocks. Fool.”

True story. Our bus wheels did not go sufficiently round and round and our people did not go up and down. Whatever. That’s cool. We’ve got other talents.

Enjoy these shots of Blake : )

Are you kidding me with his hands on his little knees like that?! Oh man. Just when you think he couldn’t be any cuter, he toddles over and starts picking dandelions.

Thanks for reading! Come back later tonight for more!

If you’re interested in booking a photo session for your family – including sessions planned especially for kids with special needs – please contact me via our website or at maggie at maggiemedemaphoto.com to arrange a session. We have plenty of openings for the summer months and are available in the Edwardsville, O’Fallon, Alton and St. Louis areas and everywhere in between – including (obviously) Scott Air Force Base. We also offer a 15% discount on print and product orders for all active duty military members.

Sale alert!