Return of the Wedding Dreams
You may recall a previous post detailing my wedding nightmares.
They are back.
The most recent nightmare included two nightmarish elements: teal bridesmaid dresses and unruly, Spanish-speaking children.
Let me say right now I don’t have any issue with teal or Spanish-speaking children. They were merely out of place.
The chapel was packed and it was time for me to head down the aisle. I was being really stealthy about not letting anyone see me in my dress before the ceremony. So I start sneaking in the doors, toward the aisle but I can’t get through. Because there are unruly Hispanic children everywhere. I mean everywhere. And they are all being load and running about. So I start hissing at them to sit down and be quiet! I’m chasing them all over the back of the church and everyone is turned around in the pews looking at me. Seeing not only my secret dress but also my inability to control children! But see, the unruly Hispanic children…they don’t speak English so they ignore me.
Now I start yelling, “Where is my Maid of Honor?! She should deal with this.” (Kate: Please add “Translating and child-wrangling” to your list of duties.) So anyway, here comes Kate and Erica all ready to swoop in and handle the situation. Kate goes straight to work on the kids, yelling at them in Spanish. Which is wierd because Kate doesn’t speak Spanish. (Yeah, that’s the weird part.) And Erica gets straight to tending to my hair which has been messed up by all the rowdy kids.
So all the kids take their seats in bleachers. That’s right, bleachers, which have been set up in the back of the church…apparently to accommodate all their random Hispanic children. And we start our walk down the aisle. Only then do I realize the bridesmaids are wearing short, teal dresses. Um, yeah, its October. And there is a barn next to the church. Teal doesn’t really work for the situation.
So I’ve added “rent bleachers” and “buy English-Spanish dictionary” to my wedding to-do list. You can never be too prepared.
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